A Lecture to Myself

I had a bummer of a visit to the dentist today. I have problems with my TMJ (temporomandibular joint). It's the joint of the jaw. I have long had problems with pain with those joints. At best, the joints, especially on the left, feels week. The pain is mild, but annoying and sometimes constant. My TMJ problems are cause by my canines being removed when I had braces as a teenager. This was a common treatment method during the '70's. As I learned 30 years later, removing teeth is not the best way to manage an overbite. It kept my jow from fully developing and allowed my jaw to slam into the TM joint, causing damage.

Finally, during my 40's, I started having jaw pain. I had extensive treatment then, including a second round of braces to pull my teeth forward to attempt to relieve pressure. I've done well over the past 10 years, but recently have started having problems. I've always known that the problems would start again and have joked that some day I would be on puréed foods. Today, I went to the dentist to get a mouthpiece to help with the jaw pain. I assumed it was something to sleep in and have apparently forgotten the details about previous treatments. Surprise! I am to wear the mouthpiece 24 hours a day, except while eating. I had forgotten how it makes you lisp (great for an SLP at work). It makes your tongue sore while you adjust to it. And, the dentist mentioned that I might need to have braces again. That brought me to tears. I don't know if I can do it again. I trusted the first orthodontist to do it right. I don't fault him for his poor treatment method because it think it was probably hindsight that showed the error of that method. He's deceased anyway. However, the second round of braces was supposed to help with the problem. I always know that my TMJ would remain a weak point for me. But I was blindsided with the suggestion that I might need braces a third time.

 I need tonight to feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow I'll work on my grateful attitude. I have friends with far worse problems. But, tonight, I'm toast, sniveling, sad. I don't wanna to do this again.