Blessed

Last night, I just sat by the TV all evening. I wondered if I was just lazy or if I still had lack of energy from this cold I have been nursing. Was I turning into a couch blob? But tonight, it is 7:00 and I am sitting down for the first time. Now, if I still had a little person, I would not be sitting down yet at all. But I am learning to enjoy my free time with having only a teenager at home. Today I came home, cooked a real supper, cleaned up, ran a store errand, and weeded half of the backyard. That's as good as it gets these days. In my 20s, I was free to lounge on the couch, as much as I wanted. We moved to a house and there was plenty to do, although there was plenty of rest then, too. We had a garden, Unfortunately, we did not grow vegetables; for some reason, I am hampered in that arena. I did grow herbs and flowers. At one point, I had collected over 100 varieties of plants. I know that because I have it recorded somewhere. In the 90s, we moved to the house we are in now and renovated it. It was a foreclosure house and it was as bad as you can imagine. There was always much to do. The first year or two, we did a great job with our flowers. With the renovations, EM was the primary worker and I was the minimum-wage, unpaid helper. He said I talked more than any helper he had ever had, but I pointed out that his other helpers were paid. I could be silent for a price also. This new house, along with renovations, was over twice the size of the old house. That's twice the vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms, etc. So I stayed busier. The gardens fell by the wayside.

Then, an miracle happened. We adopted a little girl. Then we were even busier, snuggling, laughing, chasing. Who cared about gardening? All that could come later. This year, I am determined to increase my gardening. Right now, we have poppies, poker plants, thyme and coreopsis is blooming. Lamb's ear is emerging. Tulips have bloomed and gone. Sunflowers, zinnias, thyme, and four o'clocks are up and blooming. Basil, blanket flower and green beans don't appear to be coming up. The last two Saturdays, I've been too busy to go to the farmer's market for baby plants. I have to have at least two basil plants. I hope to go this weekend. I'm ready to start seriously collecting plants again.

 Maybe I'm not lazy. Maybe I'm just blessed.

A Startle

Every time I step out on the back patio, I get a jolt.  First, because there is the face out there.  Second, because it looks like my good pot has been painted.  It really hasn't been painted.  EM put painter's tape on it.

 So, today, I stopped and decided to pull the tape off.  As I looked at it closely, I see that EM took some time to carefully draw out the eyes, nose, and mouth.  So I decided to leave the face alone.  And, yes, I have already told him that it startled me, so he is satisfied.  But don't you think the nose is upside down?

Middle School Moment

Middle school.  First day of sixth grade, but first you need some background.

AT attended a private preschool and kindergarten.  It was a magical place and was just around the corner from our house.  We often walked to or from school.  The children had to go outside every day for at least a little while to play no matter what the weather. We were encouraged to send them in old clothes so they could get dirty.  Children were allow to climb high in trees, as long as they could get themselves down.  The kindergarten teacher told me she was relieved when the big kindergarteners were leaving at the end of their school year because they almost reached her fear limit.  There were bicycles to ride, zip lines and rope swings to use.  The kids rode on a trailer in parades.   They had hay rides in our neighborhood.  They ran from the mythical "killer beaver" that lived in our creek.  If the city schools were out for snow, the school was open for sledding on the property.  On a snow day, I asked the teacher if she worried about the blades on sleds hurting someone, and she replied, "Oh, they have on thick clothes."  We loved this school.

Then first grade.  It was also within walking distance from our house.  It was a small public elementary school, with a great reputation, with only two classrooms per grade.  I was working where I work now - at a rural school 17 miles from our house.  I could have chosen for AT to attend school with me or stay in town.  Our town has good schools and I was determined that she would stay in town.  I wanted to have every chance to meet as many parents as possible so I would be ready for high school.

So I started AT in school in town with great hopes.  It was first grade.  She did not learn to read in kindergarten, but she had some good skills.  She could not have had more exposure to books.  At home, we usually read books twice a day.  She loved being read to.  She could rhyme words at age 3.  She knew her letters and sounds.  She was ready to go. 

But we hit the perfect storm.  Her first teacher quit after one month of school.  Her second teacher was an entry-year teacher.  The class was heavily weighted with special needs students.  If you have read my blog very many times, you know that I am a strong proponent of inclusion with special needs students, but this class was too heavily weighted with special needs students, behavior problems, and gifted readers.  My child was in the middle of the class and getting no attention at all.  I wanted to be relaxed about her learning to read.  She would do it on her own time.  But I was increasingly concerned at the school year progressed.  When I talked to the teacher, she did not seem to be concerned or have any suggestions.  How could my child, immersed  in reading as she had been, not be progressing more?  Should I be freaking out or relaxed?   Was she not learning to read because of poor instruction or because she had a true learning disability?  It was surely not because of lack of exposure at home.  By the end of the year, I wasn't the only one stressed.  AT was having physical symptoms, health problems, often crying when I dropped her off at school.  Something was stressing her and something had to change.

So, after fretting for months, I took her out of school and put her in my school for the last month of school.  By that point, I did not care what she learned.  I just wanted her to enjoy school.  Within two days, her new teacher sent home words that she needed to learn to read.  I realized I was just given the first piece of prescriptive information to work on at home.  This had not happened in her old classroom, in spite of my expressing my concern several times to the teacher.

On to second grade...at my school.  She was still behind in reading.  Her second grade teacher that year told me that, if she had not been my child (meaning she thought we would work at home), that she would have recommended that AT return to first grade.  And within 9 weeks, she was reading on the second grade level.  You decide:  maturation, or poor instruction.  We'll never know.

AT continued at my school until she completed elementary school.  The reading problem never appeared again.  I'm so glad we had those years together, all those rides together back and forth to school.  Inside the school,  AT's and my relationship was somewhat formal.  In general, she can be a very independent being.   If I passed her in line, we would smile and wave, but just as I wave at any other student.  However, there were a few moments when  "mean" girls were overwhelming and she ran to me after school and climbed up in my lap for comfort.  My heart hurt at the time, but now, I'm filled with thankfulness that I had those precious moments. 

The plan had always been for AT to return to the town school system for middle school.  My rationale was that, in high school, the larger school would provide more variety for AT's creative intelligence, her strength.   AT was very happy at my school and had many friends, so the summer after fifth grade, she was very frustrated with me.  Well, not frustrated.  Mad.  All summer, when people congratulated her on moving to middle school, she let her feelings be known.  "My mom is making me change schools.". I stayed firm.  She changed.

Now...back to middle school.  First day of school.  This was emotionally our Kindergarten year, at least in my mind.  Her true Kindergarten year and first grade were long past.  She had been with me at school for the past five years.  Now I was sending her off with strangers.  She was growing up too fast.  She was still frustrated with me for making her change schools.  We wandered around outside the school, looking for the sixth grade gathering area, then looking for the line for her homeroom teacher.  She said, "Don't leave me!"  I assured her I wouldn't until we found the right line.   Ahh, there it was.  I heard a teacher announce her teacher's name.  She was in the right line and I was about to cry.  I quickly told her.   "I'll be here to pick you up after school.  Love you." and turned away.  I did not turn back to look since I did not want her to see me cry.  I was about 50 feet away and I felt a hand on my arm.  I turned.  It was her, coming for one last "Love you."  She said, "Love you.  Are you crying?"  "Love you and no."  We both turned away and went on with our day.

Our Saturday

Marathoners, bikers, bicyclists, yard workers, toddlers, vintage cars, convertibles, everyone was out this morning at 8 AM.  It was a softly windy day, perfect temperatures.  We started our day at Midway Grocery.  AT was required to come with us, and, after she saw the unique grocery store/deli, she was charmed and interested in our day.  Midway is where EM's car club usually meets every Saturday.  Here below she is asking her dad if she can tell the old gentleman nearby that smoking is bad for his health.  She knew her dad would say no, but loved the opportunity to torment dad.

Midway is where the club usually meets on Saturday mornings; however, today it was just the starting point.  We headed our 10 car caravan, hot rods, street rods, vintage cars, south on Route 77 to a vintage airplane show.  We thought there was also going to be a car show, but there wasn't until our group showed up and drove through the barriers, parking next to the airstrip.

On the right is EM, admiring his car.  He loves it so.

The airplanes were fascinating and tiny.  I have only been up in a small plane once or twice.  For a while, planes were landing every 10 minutes.  Except for the heat of the day, which was certainly climbing by noon, I could have watched them all day.  

We heard that the planes used 25 gallons per hour.  Is this true?  Between the small interiors and the expensive gas, we decided that we would rather be in a Buick convertible.

Then, joy, we did some destination dining, one of my favorite hobbies.

EM and I had catfish.  I really wanted the BBQ, but am trying to be more determined about eating better EVEN IN A RESTAURANT!  I know fried catfish is not super healthy, but isn't it better than my first love, BBQ?  I did not have fries!  

We were home by 1:30 and AT ventured off to spend the night with a friend.  Tonight, EM, the convertible and myself are off at 10:30 to see the moon!

Have you noticed that I have photos for the first time in my blog?  No telling what long-winded photo-heavy blogs will be posted this summer when I am out of school.  Maybe there will be photos of the moon.  Don't expect much.  My photography skills and camera are not very powerful.  

Bucket List: Items #24 and #53

Today was a perfect Saturday.  The hot rod was up and running.  It was a beautiful, cool morning.  One of our goals has been put the hot rod in a parade (bucket list item #24).  This morning we loaded up a trash sack full of candy and drove about two miles to line up in the 89ers Day Parade.  EM's car club was in the parade, probably 40 cars.  After the parade, 170 cars entered a car show nearby.  The car show entry fee went to the Health and Shelter For Friends.

AT and her friend rode on the back of the backseat in the hot rod/convertible.  We had told AT that she had to ride in the parade, but it was her choice whether she asked a friend.  Being an young teen, it took her a while to decide.  You never know if your peers will like a particular activity.  But she and her friend both seemed to have a blast.  It was great fun watching everyone waiting for the candy and admiring the cars.  Of course, we ran out of candy before the end of the route, mainly due to EM throwing out huge handfuls of candy.  I finally stopped him.   One friend claimed we injured her with candy; I think she exaggerates.

From the parade, we pulled around to park at the car show.  AT and friend wandered around and, within an hour, peeled off to go with her friend's mother.  I walked about a mile back  to the beginning of the parade to pick up the truck then went home for a nap.  Our house was only about a mile from the parade and the car show.  After my nap, I went back to the car show.   EM and I hung out, waiting for the car show winners.  Of 170 entries, there were 35 winners.  All but 2 were numbers 100 and above.  EM was number 18.  Hmmmm....  Did we have a chance?  Anyway, it was fun watching people walk by the car and admire it. 

The car show was over at about two o'clock.  We were without child, with a convertible than needed to put miles on it, on a beautiful day.  EM came up with the idea of going to Eischen's in Okarche (bucket list item #53).   It is about a hour from our house.  We drove through Oklahoma City, and continued until we were in rolling hills and farmland.  The downtown of Okarche was only two blocks long and looked not very prosperous.  The town, however, was immaculate, homes in a variety of styles and values, but yards that were well-groomed.  The only booming business downtown was Eischen's Bar.  Now, move away from this blog, go to YouTube, and search for "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives: Eischen's Bar".  Watch it.  I'll wait here....

Inside, the atmosphere was definitely bar-like, but the place was filled with families, small children, and little old ladies.  We entered the bar.  We ordered a whole chicken, a beer and a wine cooler.  While we were waiting, EM and I played a game of pool (that was a joke in itself - my pool-playing abilities are pitiful) with two little boys watching us.  EM offered to pay for a game of pool for them, but they said they were too little.  And they probably were.

And the two of us ate a whole chicken (cut into pieces).  I have never done that in my life, but I have never had a whole chicken with no other sides.  I would have ordered the fried okra if there had been more people sharing food, but it was a huge order.  There were 10 people behind the bar, working as fast as if they were putting out a fire.  Basket after basket of whole chickens came out of the back.  Our plates were sheets of wax paper.  The chicken came only with sweet butter pickles and fresh onions that had been in soaking in the pickle juice plus white bread.  There are no other "sides".  There was no "healthy" food on site.

My momma makes wonderful fried chicken.  Matter-of-fact, when we happen to eat fried chicken out, we usually say, "This is not as good as Mother's fried chicken.".  When Mother makes her fried chicken, it's just elbows and forks at the table.  Well, this chicken just just as good as hers.   Mother's gets an extra point for having a pulley bone, which Eischen's did not have.  But Eischen's had onion slices in pickle juice. Score one for Eischen's.  It's a draw.

After our drive back to Norman, we dropped in on some good friends, who were gracious enough to welcome us.  Then, off to pick up AT from her friend's house.  A perfect Saturday.

Free Associations: My Week

My husband and daughter both drew me up short this week, reminding me that "other people have real problems" and "don't volunteer if you don't want to do something".  I was a bit busy and whiny one night, after going until 9 or 10 each night.  That's unusual for me.  Our lives are calmer than that most of the time.

Thursday, EM, with much excitement, drove to the city to pick up his hot rod.  It has been at the car upholstery shop for over six weeks.  Instead of hotrod, we call the car the convertible around here, but that doesn't convey to other people that it is his hobby car, so I've started calling it the hot rod to other people.  The last "official" work has been done on that car.  I say "official", because he will always be tinkering with it.  He has been almost lost without it in his garage the past few weeks.  The car now has a new convertible top, carpet lining in the inside and trunk, and door panel linings.  He brought it home at 8 in the morning.  It was his plan that I take off from my work in the early morning to bring back the red car.  But, being our CRT week at school (CRT = state standardized testing), I was testing and there was NO flexibility with that schedule.  

So, at 6:20 PM, we arrived at the car upholstery shop, to pick up the red car, which he had left there.  The shop had closed at 5:00.  As we pulled up, to our shock and dismay,   we could see that the red car had been hit and was wrecked badly.  Someone had backed into the car, pushing it about two feet back.  We (translate: EM) love our cars.  Once we owed a Metro for a short time, and EM even fell in love with that car, proudly showed it off, a car that once couldn't pull four people up a hill.  We once literally had to get out so the car could get up hill.

Anyway, EM is a great shade-tree mechanic.  He keeps our cars in pristine shape.  Most dings are repaired.  EM has bonded with the body shop owner and stops by to visit him on a regular basis.  The inside our cars are kept clean.  AT and I try to clutter the inside of the cars, but we manage to keep it to a minimum.  The oil is changed regularly;  the tires are rotated.  Our favorite white van, that was totaled while we were on vacation in Pennsylvania, had 300,000+ miles on it and showed no signs of stopping.  This newly wrecked red car has 150,000 miles on it and we planned to drive it for many miles more.    

But here's the rub.  When you total a well-care-for  and loved car, the insurance company does not love your car like you do.  Chances are very good that the red car will be totaled.  If so, they will write us a check, which is worth much less to us that the red car is worth to us.  We don't know how this is going to play out.  One possibility, if it is totaled, will be that we buy it from the insurance, and repair it ourselves.  We have to wait until Tuesday for the insurance estimate.

AT is trying out to be a cheerleader Saturday.  I am very proud of her.   She had worked hard.  I don't know cheer lingo so I need to study.  She can do a triple back tuck, one of only two girls who can.  Hope that helps.  She has been spent several evenings away from home, practicing.  She also had CRTs this week.  It's been a tough week for her also, and she may have handled it better than I did.  While I'm not really thrilled that she wants to be a cheerleader (would have been more excited about a botball expert), but she has worked very hard on this and I am pleased with her work ethic.  

I can see the end of the year approaching.  I just finished the last of my big evaluations/ paperwork this week.  I will have to schedule a few more meetings, but the most difficult ones are behind me.  I do like my job, but it is very fast paced.  I hit the ground running hard every morning.  This week, a parent asked a paraprofessional if I always moved that fast.  Yes, I do.  My schedule is packed with students and reports.  My organizational style, unfortunately, is to not organize my desk when I have more pressing things to do such as write reports or see children.  I just can't justify making my desk pretty when there are more pressing things to do.  This week, I just may get to clean off that desk!  We're out of school on May 18th.  I already feel relaxed on Sunday evenings, knowing that the more relaxing days are coming soon.  I already have my list of projects.  Whoops!  That doesn't sound relaxing.  Well, I plan to work and relax. 

Oh, and what a treat!  Friday, I raced a tornado.  We were expecting an unsettled weekend, weather-wise, but expected it to start after school.  Friday, the buses were loaded about 15 minutes early, to try to get students home before the tornado hit.  Two years ago, we had a horrible tornado at our school and community (not in Norman proper, where I live).  There was a death, debilitating injuries, and homes blown away.  Our administration building was blown away.  So we're a bit scared from it.  Friday, the buses all left and I left at my regular time.  Apparently, the buses were called back to the school and some people stayed until after five o'clock.  Our area survived the tornado, luckier than some other areas in the state.  

Free associations:  the end.

My Girls!

I just glanced at my back patio and wished again for the healing, deep laughter of last Saturday night.  I have a wonderful group of lady friends and we were all on the patio last weekend.  Our plan is to get together every month.  But, you know, the best laid plans....  It was the first time in months that we had been together. These are busy ladies.  All are working.  All are married and most still have teenagers at home.   There have been months when I've had too much going on at home to meet up with the others.  We have kick-started our group again recently.  Hopefully.  Permanently. 

We are all in the elementary teacher field, which gives us a twisted sense of humor.  You should hear us hooting and hollering about school experiences.    I think it is similar to medical humor.  Unless you are in the field, you don't need to hear it.  One person reported on the naked neighbor, one on supervisor problems and another with amazing news of a wedding the previous weekend (her own! - on the down-low).  One can do great impressions of any wayward elementary student she meets.  Lots of laughing.  Loud, raucous laughter.  Laughter that stretches to the bottom of your toes.  Something that we all needed. 

Almost every single person in the group of eight has has gone through a serious tragedy in the past few years.  The group has literally dealt with death, near death, and very serious illnesses.  There have been very tough moments, financially, personally, and professionally.  Each person managed it with such strength.  The changes will affect the rest of our lives.  Some appeared to have recovered.  For others, the scars are deeper.   We are ladies in our 50s (well, there may be one not there yet, my apologies to you!).  The natural drama of our lives is going to speed up, not slow down. 

These are my models for how to move into the future.  One person is special because she in "my friend" and strong.  Another is wise.  One is brave.  One is creative.  One is loving.  One is classy and calm.  One is a seeker.  All can laugh.  The years ahead will hold increasing challenges.  Here's to many years together! God bless us all.